Decisions

I've decided that, for now, I have to stop raiding with Loihi. It was a tough decision because I made a commitment to these people, but real life comes first. I wasn't necessarily falling behind in my classes, but I was in a place that made me feel uncomfortable. I think that if we raided on different nights, it might be different. The problem is that I have class on Tuesday and Thursday. We are usually assigned about 4 hours of reading between Tuesday and Thursday. Wednesday is raid night. It just doesn't work.

I raided both days last week. Wednesday night is pretty much farm night at this point; we can kill the first five bosses easily. In my guild, we don't do DKP and we don't have any real loot rules or rules regarding gearing alts or anything like that. Most of them have been raiding together for years, so they are fine with just using group loot and rolling when you need something. You're expected not to roll again if you win something and someone else needs something. That's the only rule. So on the very first week we went into Highmaul, Kargath dropped the cloth helm. I rolled on it, but it went to the other warlock in the group. After that raid, we switched to personal loot. This past week, they decided to switch back to group loot. The warlock who had won that helm had decided he didn't like the major warlock suckage going on right now, so he switched to his shadow priest. So on Wednesday, Kargath dropped the cloth helm again. I still need it, so I rolled on it again. So did the shadow priest who had previously won it on his warlock. Guess who won? Yeah, not me. I've never been in a raiding guild before where that sort of thing was acceptable. But I'm still new and they're all old friends, so I felt like I didn't have a place to say anything.

Later, Tectus dropped his staff. I rolled on it. This time it was won by an alt mage who already has it on his main. This guy gave it some thought, decided it was unfair because he was an alt, and decided to give it away. But rather than looking at the rolls to see who came in second, he said, "did anyone else need this?" and our GM shouted, "I do! I need it! Give it to me!" She had already won something; I hadn't. He gave it to her, no questions asked. These two incidents were pretty much the proverbial straw for me. I know it's a game, and I know it's only loot, and I know my dps sucks because Blizz did my class dirty. But my dps isn't going to get better if I never get any loot, and no one gives me a second thought because I'm just the new girl. It hit me right in the gut, and I couldn't focus for the rest of the raid. My dps was garbage, I was standing in fire...it was bad. And I just told Josh right then and there, "This is my last night of this. I'm not going to make real life sacrifices for this." I had just bought a new headset, too. It came in the mail the day of that raid.

It's been a week, and I'm still pretty upset about all of it. At this point, I don't know what I'm going to do. I really really want a casual raid atmosphere. I don't want to pay to server transfer, but the server Loihi is on sucks. Finding a dps raid spot now in the type of guild I'm looking for... ugh. I really thought this guild was going to be perfect for me. I got in before WOD came out so I'd be in a good position, and it just isn't what I was hoping for at all.